Have you ever noticed that when you are in a bad mood the whole world seems to be too? On the flip side, if you are feeling happy you may find that all the people you encounter are happy as well. Whether we know it or not, we project our feelings in many subtle ways and others pick up on this and reflect what they are feeling right back at us. It makes sense then to project what you want to reflect in all your daily interactions with others. This is certainly not a new idea, however, I believe it is an extremely valuable one, particularly when coming to terms with disability and it reminds me of the first time I used a mobility scooter.
I was at a large shopping centre with my husband and his parents. Our son Kai was quite small, maybe less than a year old. It was becoming increasingly difficult for me to walk any distance at all, even with a walking stick, so I had started the habit of finding somewhere to sit and telling everyone I was happy to wait for them while they shopped. A short time later, my darling mother-in-law Annie returned driving one of the centre's courtesy mobility scooters. I was absolutely horrified and refused to get on it. It was far too embarrassing; what would people think? Thankfully, Annie can be persistently persuasive at times and so, after some tentative driving practice, I organised to meet up with everyone a short time later and found myself driving around the shopping centre, by myself, completely independent and free again. I was hooked and soon bought my own travel scooter.
As I got used to using this new tool, I noticed how others reacted to me. Some smiled, but a lot of people avoided eye contact with me altogether. A friend admitted that she felt awkward because she didn't know how she should behave or what she should be doing to help me while I was on the scooter. I quickly realised that, on the whole, people would take their cue from me. If I was embarrassed, they would feel embarrassed for me but if I treated the scooter like the tool that it was and largely ignored it, others would too. This approach has worked well for me and I encourage others to try it. Of course, there are times when you simply can't ignore me or the scooter, such as when I run into a display at the newsagent's or my reversing beeps seem to go on forever while I'm reversing out of a shop. At these times, apologies and a sense of humour work wonders.
From walking sticks and wheelie walkers to wheelchairs and scooters, mobility aids bring with them a whole host of stigmas and so it can be a very difficult and emotional process accepting that you need one. I am often stopped by strangers wanting to ask about my scooter and to tell me about themselves. I have heard numerous stories about spouses or other loved ones who could really benefit from a scooter but refuse to entertain the idea of using one, instead choosing to stay at home alone. Age and disease steal enough from a person without you allowing embarrassment to snatch your freedom and independence too. If I could reach out to these people I would dish out some tough love and tell them to stop wasting precious time worrying about what others think and get out there! Put a smile on your face and wait for it to be reflected back at you in the people you meet. The worst that can happen is a stony glare, and let's face it, you wouldn't want to know anyone sporting one of those anyway.
I was at a large shopping centre with my husband and his parents. Our son Kai was quite small, maybe less than a year old. It was becoming increasingly difficult for me to walk any distance at all, even with a walking stick, so I had started the habit of finding somewhere to sit and telling everyone I was happy to wait for them while they shopped. A short time later, my darling mother-in-law Annie returned driving one of the centre's courtesy mobility scooters. I was absolutely horrified and refused to get on it. It was far too embarrassing; what would people think? Thankfully, Annie can be persistently persuasive at times and so, after some tentative driving practice, I organised to meet up with everyone a short time later and found myself driving around the shopping centre, by myself, completely independent and free again. I was hooked and soon bought my own travel scooter.
As I got used to using this new tool, I noticed how others reacted to me. Some smiled, but a lot of people avoided eye contact with me altogether. A friend admitted that she felt awkward because she didn't know how she should behave or what she should be doing to help me while I was on the scooter. I quickly realised that, on the whole, people would take their cue from me. If I was embarrassed, they would feel embarrassed for me but if I treated the scooter like the tool that it was and largely ignored it, others would too. This approach has worked well for me and I encourage others to try it. Of course, there are times when you simply can't ignore me or the scooter, such as when I run into a display at the newsagent's or my reversing beeps seem to go on forever while I'm reversing out of a shop. At these times, apologies and a sense of humour work wonders.
From walking sticks and wheelie walkers to wheelchairs and scooters, mobility aids bring with them a whole host of stigmas and so it can be a very difficult and emotional process accepting that you need one. I am often stopped by strangers wanting to ask about my scooter and to tell me about themselves. I have heard numerous stories about spouses or other loved ones who could really benefit from a scooter but refuse to entertain the idea of using one, instead choosing to stay at home alone. Age and disease steal enough from a person without you allowing embarrassment to snatch your freedom and independence too. If I could reach out to these people I would dish out some tough love and tell them to stop wasting precious time worrying about what others think and get out there! Put a smile on your face and wait for it to be reflected back at you in the people you meet. The worst that can happen is a stony glare, and let's face it, you wouldn't want to know anyone sporting one of those anyway.